ORDERS!

Well. Three days ago, husband got his orders. His first duty station will be in the beautiful state of North Carolina at Camp Lejeune. I can't believe it took me this long to remember that I have a blog ABOUT the marines and this absolutly falls the related catagory.
Good news, we will be CONUS. Bad news, he is attached to an infantry unit.
Helpful hint to new ladies; CONUS refers to the continental USA, everything except alaska and hawaii. OCONUS is anywhere overseas. Alaska, Hawaii, or any other post you have to swim to is considered oconus.
Anyways. We have begun the process of pcsing. My stress levels are already through the roof. So much paperwork. I filled out less for college! But I am extremely glad to finally have a plan(ish) instead of this awful limbo. I doubt I will be a huge fan of Lejeune, but at least its better than 29 Palms!
Working on seeing the glass half full. Hopefully full of tequila or rum!

Orders never showed.

My husband told me yesterday that his entire class got orders, except for him and two other guys. Some idiot in admin thought they were reservists. What really bites is that if he HAD gotten his orders, we would be going to hawaii to be part of a logistics batallion.

Now we still dont have orders, dont know when he will, etc. Just another day in this hellish lifestyle. Im glad for the security of it all, but its really getting to me. It seems like, if something is going to go wrong, its going to happen to the husband.

In other news, after a bit of snooping on my part, I found out that my husband and mother in law were trash talking me over facebook while we were having an argument. So I am trying to forgive my husband, because I understand that its easy to get frustrated. However, I am holding a grudge against his mother, who has been uninvited to Thanksgiving tomorrow. Suffice to say, its a tense situation between Danny and I.

OH! Grayson is rolling and is able to sit up with barely any support. Good things are afoot for my little boy.

The new Arrival

Well, this wont be a long post but I wanted to share the news: The baby boy is here! After 18 hours of labor and 1.5 hours of pushing, little Grayson is here and is already spoiled completely rotten. This kid has my entire family wrapped around his little finger. Everyone says he looks like me, but all I can see are his dads features; little folde ears, expressive eyebrows, etc.

Poor little guy though; has jaundice and an infection, so they are keeping him in the hospital for 7 days to administer antibiotics. We are on day three right now, so only 4 more to go. They discharged me, but are letting me stay in an empty room so that I can feed and take care of Grayson. But if the maternity ward starts to fill up and needs the room, I get booted out, so hopefully the prego women in this town can wait a few days before going into labor. I can't leave my baby.

Funny fact though: Grayson sounded like a little duck when he was first born. So now he is my little gray duck and I have never been so in love.

As far as the husband goes: he is due home tonight for 10 days only. He DOES get paternity leave, but it is getting counted at the same time as his bootcamp leave. It doesn't seem fair to me, but who am I gonna go argue with? Danny said on the phone today that his plan to to come home and talk to his recruiter about getting some RA. More updates to come.

Officially a USMC Wife

Today, at precisely 8:00 am, my recruit became as US Marine. He recieved his Eagle, Globe, and Anchor after completing the crucible and was treated to a Warriors Breakfast; all you can eat, which I am sure my husband MORE than indulged in. For a guy his size, he sure can pack it in!

The rest of his time at MCRD will be spent as a Marine; he will get to address his DI's by their rank, get an extra hour of free time at the end of the night, and know that he has earned a title that will follow him for the rest of his life. Not everyone can be a Marine; you have to be pretty darn awesome.

I wish I could be there with him, or even get a phonecall. It really sucks that I cant share one of the most important days of his life with him. Oh well; his mom is taking his cell phone with her to San Diego, so I will get to talk to him for as long as I want on the 26th. Thank God for Family Day.

Paternity Leave

I know I already posted this evening, but I wanted to share some of my research about the Marine Corp and their policy about paternity leave.

Apparently, before 2008, there was no such thing, or if there was, it was no guarantee. Then, Bush and the senate agreed that all branches of the military must implement a program to give every service member 10 days of non-chargeable paternity leave. But only if he was married or was going to have sole custody of the child being born.

Every branch has their own policy regarding P.Leave, but the USMC is this: You are entitled to 10 days of leave, but you have to request it within 25 days of the childs birth, at the commanders discretion. Of course, there are certain factors that can change that rule, i.e. deployment, but it seems pretty unsual for paternity leave to be denied.

And, if you were like me, and had no idea what "non-chargable" meant, here you go: Every service member is entitled to 30 days of leave every year. So when you get your paternity leave, it is not subtracted from your regular annual leave. It is in addition. So in a year that a child is born, a service member will get 40 days of leave instead of the standard 30.

Here is the link to the page describing paternity leave:
http://usmilitary.about.com/od/marines/a/paternityleave.htm

And here is a Wikipedia article about the types of leave. It seemed pretty decent and informative. Hope it helps:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leave_(U.S._military)

Gas Chamber and The Crucible

This coming week is my husbands last as a "recruit". On thursday, he will have completed the Crucible and recieved his EGA and the title, US Marine. But he has a bit of hell to go through before that happens.

Tomorrow, he will enter the gas chamber, one of the most horrible sounding experiences that the recruiter described to us. They will be forced to endure time in a sealed room filled with tear gas. I will never go through it, but I understand that it is a test of endurance that is a rite of passage for the recruits.

Then, on tuesday, they start the Crucible. I think. I am not sure about the start time, but I know that it is supposed to last for over two days and that when they are done, they will be Marines (or at the ceremony on thursday; not sure).

"The Crucible is the final test in recruit training, and represents the culmination of all of the skills and knowledge a Marine should possess. Designed in 1996^[14] to emphasize the importance of teamwork in overcoming adversity, the Crucible is a rigorous 54-hour field training^[1] exercise demanding the application of everything a recruit has learned until that point in recruit training, and includes a total of 48 miles of marching.^[15] It simulates typical combat situations with strenuous testing, hardship, and the deprivation of food and sleep. A recruit is given three MREs (= Meal Ready-to-Eat, a self-contained, individual field ration, previously two and half) and four to eight hours of sleep through the entire 54-hour event." (Wikipedia)

So you can see that it is no walk in the park, but I know my Danny is ready for it. He is strong and stubborn and he will do fine. Its me who is stuck here at home, worrying about how he is feeling and doing.

I am grappling with the knowledge that I can not help him. In all of our hardships in the the last three years, we have done it together, but now it all falls on him. I can only support him from a distance. No hugs or kisses. Just letters promising that I will be praying for him.

However, this week signals that he will be home soon. In my arms and possibly holding our son in his.

Update on mon amour

I got a phonecall today at about 2:00 pm from my husband. There is good news and bad news.

The good news is that he is being moved from PCP to Kilo Company tomorrow to resume training.

The bad news is that he won't graduate until July 27th. One week after my due date...bummer. I was really hoping that Danny would be back in time to see our baby boy be born, but chances are that he will only get to see pictures. I wish he was going to be here. I am really going to need some help when the baby comes. It would be great if it could be babys dad. -sad-

But at least he is back on track for graduation! He is back in training which means he is healthy, strong and ready to push through.

Is My Husband Going to Change?

I had a strange dream last night that has really struck a chord in me and I am sure is a concern for most wives with recruits.

Is bootcamp/The Marines going to irrevocably change my husband? Is he going to be a man different from whom I fell in love with?

I dreamed that when my husband came back from bootcamp, there was a copy of him as well. One copy had all of my husbands best qualities, including his amazing kindness and unfailing devotion. The other was solemn and cold. They were both my husband, but niether were complete. I had to be married to both of them and eventually, in the dream, it tore me apart to try to meet both copies needs.

At this point, I dont know how my husband will change. When I spoke to him on the phone, he seemed mostly the same. He did curse without having a reason to, which is new. But not horrible. I can live with a foul mouth. But that was only after three weeks of bootcamp.

What is three months in the Marine Corp going to send home to me?

Three years?

Thirty?

MRP vs. Light Duty

I spoke to the husband very briefly today and he is being released back to the Recruiting Depot. When I spoke to him, he was already dressed in his cammies and had just been delivered his "chow." I guess chow is Marine for food.

So we spoke only briefly because he said he had to eat before he was discharged. So I told him I loved him, etc. Normal mushy stuff.

But later, I got an email from my husbands aunt, who is a chaplain down in San Diego area. She has the strings to pull that she was allowed to go into his hospital room to visit him. So she went and visited him and has reported back to me that he is being released back, on light duty. We had previously thought he was going to be sent into the Medical Rehabilitation Platoon, which he still might be, but all we know for sure at this point is that he is definetly getting a week of not having to do PT. So at least he will have an opportunity to get better before going back to regular training.

So what I cant seem to find on any internet forum is the difference between MRP and Light Duty? How will his graduation date be affected?

***UPDATE***

I just got a call, with very bad reception, from my husband telling me that he has been dropped into MRP. However, he must have been on a time limit because he didnt tell me when he was going to be moved back into a regular company. Then the call dropped.

Yeah, it dropped before he could relay any real information.

So you know what I did? I called back. And I got an answer. And this person said they were my husband. But It did NOT sound like him, and I know his voice. But when I asked "my husband" what had happened, I got a very garbled response ending with, "I will call you tomorrow."

I dont like this. I feel like someone was posing as him, because when I said "I love you" this strange voice hesitated.  My mother-in-law says its just because PDA is not allowed, but I hardly thing a hearty "I love you" is PDA...Maybe I just havent adjusted yet. In my defense, I have only gotten one letter, so any contact with him is like a blessing from God.

Furious

I am in a spot between absolute fury and worry.

Danny left yesterday afternoon for San Diego and arrived late last night, if all went according to plan. He was supposed to arrive, stand on the yellow footprints and be marched to a bank of phones in order to call me and let me know he was there safe.

But I did not recieve a phone call last night. Neither did his mom or even my parents. No one has heard from him. I just called the recruiters office to see if this was normal. Even they sounded confused. And Danny knew I wanted a phone call. Planes freak me out.

So, there are two options at this point.

1. Danny is NOT okay. Something is wrong!
2. Danny is an asshole who didn't stop to think about his choice to NOT call me.

If he had a chance to call me, but chose not to, I hope the recruiter calls his D.I. in San Deigo. I hope he gets REAMED! How dare he leave me wondering all night long (yes, I stayed up).

Either way, something is up and I am not pleased.

On a side note, the recruiter also said that I probably wont get his mailing address until the end of the week. I can't even write a letter to yell at him.

Nightmares

I have been having a bad couple of days, sleep-wise. I have been having some pretty intense nightmares, the most awful of which woke me up in the middle of night, sobbing like a kid. Poor husband was really freaked out when I startled him awake as I searched for him in the blankets.

The dream itself wasnt gruesome or anything. I dreamt that it was maybe 10 years in the future. I had three kids, all watching TV in the living room when the doorbell rings and I open the front door to find a man in uniform telling me that my husband has died.

I'm sure the experience is different in real life, but it shook me to the core. I havent really felt like doing anything the last few days, least of all write. I have spent it getting myself together and talking my crazy side out of telling Danny he cant join the Marines.

On a happier note I went to Home Depot yesterday and picked up the seeds im going to plant this year as well as a raspberry shoot. So my garden this year will have stawberries, broccoli, pumpkins, watermelons, AND hopefully some raspberries. I also finally have found a pair of gardening gloves that actually fit me. My future brother in law picked up some corn that he plans on planting, but I dont really see that happening since he has made no effort to help me clear the garden.

OH! Hold on. His recruiters, who we have had nothing but issues with, has gone and changed the day for PT from mondays to saturdays. WTH! There is no way that Danny is going to be able to get saturdays off from work. Just frustrating because they made such a big deal about danny getting mondays off from work. GRRR

Thinking About Plans that Should be Made

I have a problem that has no easy fix. I need to make plans, but doing so feels naughty. I am trying to find a job, so as to support myself during the husbands bootcamp, but doing so basically requires me to lie about how long I intend to work there. I cant exactly walk into an interview and say "Well, I really need this job now, but I might be leaving in three-ish months."

Who in their right mind would pay to hire and train someone who wont return on the investment? Is this same issue going to crop up wherever we go in the next four or eight years? If so, what is the point of getting a college degree in something when a potential employer is just going to look at my application/resume and see tons of jobs/locations?

So how do the fully initated military spouses handle this? At this point, I consider myself in pre-school (pre-basic/post-enlistment). I wish there was a website specifically for experienced women or men to offer advice and information to spouses who are blindly being thrown into this lifestyle. No one in my family was or is a soldier, so I have NO idea how to handle this stuff. I have seen dozens of responses on yahoo answers for "what to expect" but none of them really seem helpful.

Maybe it really IS an initation type of thing! Maybe once my husband graduates all of the marine spouses will kidnap me out of my bed and make me endure some sort of alcohol related hazing (wouldn't mind that) and then they will finally tell me what the hell I am supposed to be doing.

Does anyone think it would be inappropriate to go and harass my husbands recruiter? I mean, if I bother them for long enough, wont they tell me whats up if only to get rid of me? I would...

Just something I am going to miss

My husband got paid this morning and I got to wake up to the best thing ever; a twinkie. He woke up super early, went to the store and got me a twinkie, all before I even cracked an eyelid.

Possibly the sweetest man in the world! I love twinkies and we usually only buy them when we have a bit of extra cash, but he set aside money this paycheck to buy me a treat.

So now I am curled up on the couch watching him play Mass Effect 3, a video game series that he just loves, eating my twinkie. I think I might be the luckiest woman in the world!

On a more sad note, my sister made me watch this music video by Carrie Underwood, "Just a Dream". It made me pretty sad and I teared up. But I can understand why she wanted me to watch it. Her fiance is considering joining the airforce, so of course she is super worried about him and what could happen. I hope she is doing okay, but she doesn't really get gushy about her feelings.

Well, I am terrified about what could happen to my husband, but I comfort myself with the thoughts that he gonna look really freaking handsome in his dress blues! And maybe since he is in communications, he might not ever do anything to dangerous...(I might be a little bit deluded)

Give me the effing twinkies...