Is My Husband Going to Change?

I had a strange dream last night that has really struck a chord in me and I am sure is a concern for most wives with recruits.

Is bootcamp/The Marines going to irrevocably change my husband? Is he going to be a man different from whom I fell in love with?

I dreamed that when my husband came back from bootcamp, there was a copy of him as well. One copy had all of my husbands best qualities, including his amazing kindness and unfailing devotion. The other was solemn and cold. They were both my husband, but niether were complete. I had to be married to both of them and eventually, in the dream, it tore me apart to try to meet both copies needs.

At this point, I dont know how my husband will change. When I spoke to him on the phone, he seemed mostly the same. He did curse without having a reason to, which is new. But not horrible. I can live with a foul mouth. But that was only after three weeks of bootcamp.

What is three months in the Marine Corp going to send home to me?

Three years?

Thirty?

Nightmares

I have been having a bad couple of days, sleep-wise. I have been having some pretty intense nightmares, the most awful of which woke me up in the middle of night, sobbing like a kid. Poor husband was really freaked out when I startled him awake as I searched for him in the blankets.

The dream itself wasnt gruesome or anything. I dreamt that it was maybe 10 years in the future. I had three kids, all watching TV in the living room when the doorbell rings and I open the front door to find a man in uniform telling me that my husband has died.

I'm sure the experience is different in real life, but it shook me to the core. I havent really felt like doing anything the last few days, least of all write. I have spent it getting myself together and talking my crazy side out of telling Danny he cant join the Marines.

On a happier note I went to Home Depot yesterday and picked up the seeds im going to plant this year as well as a raspberry shoot. So my garden this year will have stawberries, broccoli, pumpkins, watermelons, AND hopefully some raspberries. I also finally have found a pair of gardening gloves that actually fit me. My future brother in law picked up some corn that he plans on planting, but I dont really see that happening since he has made no effort to help me clear the garden.

OH! Hold on. His recruiters, who we have had nothing but issues with, has gone and changed the day for PT from mondays to saturdays. WTH! There is no way that Danny is going to be able to get saturdays off from work. Just frustrating because they made such a big deal about danny getting mondays off from work. GRRR