Officially a USMC Wife

Today, at precisely 8:00 am, my recruit became as US Marine. He recieved his Eagle, Globe, and Anchor after completing the crucible and was treated to a Warriors Breakfast; all you can eat, which I am sure my husband MORE than indulged in. For a guy his size, he sure can pack it in!

The rest of his time at MCRD will be spent as a Marine; he will get to address his DI's by their rank, get an extra hour of free time at the end of the night, and know that he has earned a title that will follow him for the rest of his life. Not everyone can be a Marine; you have to be pretty darn awesome.

I wish I could be there with him, or even get a phonecall. It really sucks that I cant share one of the most important days of his life with him. Oh well; his mom is taking his cell phone with her to San Diego, so I will get to talk to him for as long as I want on the 26th. Thank God for Family Day.

Phone Call

I got a phonecall yesterday from San Diego. My husband told me that he hadn't gotten mail in over a week so the DI allowed him to call home to check on me. It is good to know that the DI's are aware that Danny has a wife and child on the way; it gives me hope that maybe they will let him call me when I go into labor. I have only 21 days until my expected due date while husbands graduation is 29 days away. Everyone cross your fingers that baby is as stubborn as his dad and comes 8 or 9 days late.

Update on mon amour

I got a phonecall today at about 2:00 pm from my husband. There is good news and bad news.

The good news is that he is being moved from PCP to Kilo Company tomorrow to resume training.

The bad news is that he won't graduate until July 27th. One week after my due date...bummer. I was really hoping that Danny would be back in time to see our baby boy be born, but chances are that he will only get to see pictures. I wish he was going to be here. I am really going to need some help when the baby comes. It would be great if it could be babys dad. -sad-

But at least he is back on track for graduation! He is back in training which means he is healthy, strong and ready to push through.

More Pneumonia News

Yesterday I got three letters from Danny at once. One of the best feelings in the world, sort of like winning the lottery, only better. I think the mailman is afraid of me though. Yesterday, so was moving at a snails pace so I marched outside and stared him down while tapping my foot. Then when he went to hand me the letters, I snatched them out of his hand like I starving man reaching for food. If he hadn't let go, I am pretty sure he would have lot that hand.

The letters were pretty typical. Lots of "I love you" and "I want to be home with you". I was crying as hard as I ever have. You would think he was never coming home with my reaction. What can I say though; I am almost 8 months pregnant.

He also said that he will be in MRP for two weeks probably. He said he will be graduating with Golf Company on July 27th. But that doesn't make any sense. According the the MCRD San Diego website, Golf Company graduates on July 20th, while Kilo Company graduates on July 27th. So I think my husband is confused about half of his information. Unless the website just hasn't been updated in a long time. I am more inclined to think that my husband has his information wrong.

**Update on PoA**

Still no resolution. Recruiters were left a very upset and blunt voicemail by my sister (posing to be me, because I suck at being openly hostile). She basically ripped the recrutier a new a-hole. She was also slightly threatening, which was immensely amusing. She is 5'3" and weighs 110 lbs. Like a chihuaha attacking a doberman. Recruiter called back saying that nothing had changed but he has a lead that would hopefully turn up the paperwork.

I Dont Have Much Faith in Recruiters

Before my husband left for San Diego, he filled out a power of attorney, a document which allows me to fill out paperwork on his behalf. Very important to have if you are trying to enroll in Tricare. For those who don't know, Tricare is the insurance of the military.

Anyways, he filled one out the day he left for San Diego. We had it notarized by a family friend and gave it to Danny's recruiter. I must have had a lapse in sanity; why on earth did I let that paper out of my sight? The recruiters are not very reliable.

This wasn't the first time we have had trouble with one.

Danny's first recruiter (who was reassigned I think...) was incapable of keeping track of time. I can think of five different instances where we had to call him to remind him of meetings we had scheduled. He was a nice guy, just didn't seem to be very focused on his job.

The second guy is also very nice! He is very helpful and hasn't really messed up. The problem is that he doesn't seem to know what the heck is going on with the PoA. He says that I should have it. Which made me a little bit upset. The last time I saw it was as Danny was walking into the recruiters office to leave for MEPS.

So that means that either the recruiters have it and misplaced it or its lost at MEPS. Either way, I am very upset. It was a lot of work to get that PoA signed and notarized. How could they just lose it?

Not just lose it, but make no efforts to correct the situation. Come on guys, I am seven months pregnant. I really need insurance! They have been trying to figure this out for a week and still nothing. If I dont hear from them by monday morning(tomorrow) I am going to the office and demanding that they fix this. I dont know how they are going to do it.

I hope it doesn't come down to having to call San Diego and have danny sign the form again and fax it up here. I doubt that would look good to the DI's.

So my recommendation: Dont trust the recruiters to keep track of anything. Dont leave any important papers with them (anything!) and make sure you keep them aware.

OR maybe I am just unlucky. Maybe most recruiters rock and have superb track records and I got the irresponsible ones.

*sigh*

Post Pneumonia

I find myself lost all over again after having spent the last few days worrying every second of the day about my husband. Between calling him in the hospital and researching pneumonia, I haven't had time to be lonely. I have been so focused on him that I have completely forgotten how to be alone.

Let me explain...

In the last three weeks, I have mostly gotten used to practically being single. Sure, I spend time writing to the husband, but everything else in my life became solo. After he left, I eventually stopped crying and got on with life.

So when I got to opportunity to talk to my husband on the phone, all that coping was forgotten. I got used to talking to him again. Telling him about my day and asking about his. I felt married again even if he wasn't in the room with me.

Don't get me wrong; those phone calls are now some of my most precious memories. I wouldn't trade them for anything. It was amazing being able to hear his voice again.

Be warned though: by having the blessing of those phone calls, I was sent sprawling back to square one. I am depressed and lonely. It was like he had just left, all over again.

The good news is that, while he IS being dropped to MRP, it is only for a week. So unless he spontaenously gets sick again, his graduation should only be delayed by a couple weeks, max. This might be a blessing for us. It may be unpleasent for him now, but this could mean that he might be with me for the birth of our child.

God really must be watching out for us. There is no other explanation for how everything has been working out for the last two months. How I magically quit smoking when I was unknowingly two months pregnant or how Danny was able to slide into an earlier slot for bootcamp.

Thank you God for watching over my son, my husband, and even me. None of us deserve it, thats for sure.

MRP vs. Light Duty

I spoke to the husband very briefly today and he is being released back to the Recruiting Depot. When I spoke to him, he was already dressed in his cammies and had just been delivered his "chow." I guess chow is Marine for food.

So we spoke only briefly because he said he had to eat before he was discharged. So I told him I loved him, etc. Normal mushy stuff.

But later, I got an email from my husbands aunt, who is a chaplain down in San Diego area. She has the strings to pull that she was allowed to go into his hospital room to visit him. So she went and visited him and has reported back to me that he is being released back, on light duty. We had previously thought he was going to be sent into the Medical Rehabilitation Platoon, which he still might be, but all we know for sure at this point is that he is definetly getting a week of not having to do PT. So at least he will have an opportunity to get better before going back to regular training.

So what I cant seem to find on any internet forum is the difference between MRP and Light Duty? How will his graduation date be affected?

***UPDATE***

I just got a call, with very bad reception, from my husband telling me that he has been dropped into MRP. However, he must have been on a time limit because he didnt tell me when he was going to be moved back into a regular company. Then the call dropped.

Yeah, it dropped before he could relay any real information.

So you know what I did? I called back. And I got an answer. And this person said they were my husband. But It did NOT sound like him, and I know his voice. But when I asked "my husband" what had happened, I got a very garbled response ending with, "I will call you tomorrow."

I dont like this. I feel like someone was posing as him, because when I said "I love you" this strange voice hesitated.  My mother-in-law says its just because PDA is not allowed, but I hardly thing a hearty "I love you" is PDA...Maybe I just havent adjusted yet. In my defense, I have only gotten one letter, so any contact with him is like a blessing from God.

Pneumonia

So I got a call from The San Diego Naval Hospital today. A lady with a heavy spanish accent informed me that my husband has been admitted and that I need to call them back. Or rather, she tried. I was making the yardsale routes with my family and missed the call. I didnt get the voicemail until an hour later.

I panicked. I thought he must be dying. Why else would he be in a hospital? So I tried to call the missed phone number, only to have it make the strangest clicking/beeping sound no matter how many times I hung up and redialed. I then began an incredibly panicked search on the internet for a working number to the hospital. I eventually found one and got connected to a person. Only to be transfered to another location, then put on hold while my husbands nurse was found. Now keep in mind that I STILL had no idea what was going on. The nurse was SO helpful (can you sense my sarcasm?). She gave me the phone number to my husbands room. I then proceeded to call the private number.

Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...

Nothing. You can guess what I did next . I called the nurse back and demanded they go to his room to find out why he wasn't answering. The phone wasn't freaking PLUGGED IN! The most basic part of a working telephone, and it wasn't connected.

Finally, I got in touch with my husband. Who has pneumonia. Pretty badly.

But God was it good to hear his voice. I could barely stop crying to ask him about his condition. He says he is okay, but his cough says otherwise. He could barely talk, but he talked to me for a few minutes, doing his best to comfort me, even though he is the sick one. He was very interested in how the baby is doing.

Eventually he had to get off the phone because the doctor came in to do some tests. I called him back about an hour later, but he was only able to talk for about 10 minutes before he told me he needed to go. No explanation, but I assume he was exhausted and needed to sleep.

I am such a mess right now. How am I going to survive being cut off from him again once he is out of the hospital?  It is taking every once of my willpower to not drive to the airport right now and jump on a plane. For the last three years, I have been taking care of him and it is agony to be 1500 miles away and not able to hold him while he coughs. To ease his pain.

Plus, if he is sick for long enough, he could be "recycled" meaning that he would have to start bootcamp all over again. I am praying thats not the case.

There really is a God!

Today, as I was writing Danny, a letter finally came. Almost three weeks after I dropped him off at his recruiters, I finally hear from him. It was like someone upstairs finally heard my prayers.

Honestly, I think this might be the best feeling I have ever had. Its such a beautiful feeling to hear from your loved one after so long. Believe me when I say that this is euphoria.

For the last two weeks, I have been watching the mail like a hawk. Every single day, I waited at home until the mail came, desperate for any communication from my dear dear husband. So of course, when I actually saw the half size envelope with the globe and anchor on it, I immedietly burst into tears and ripped into the envelope like a wild animal. I dont think I have ever moved so fast.

Unfortunatly, the letter wasn't very long, which was not very suprising considering how strapped for time he probably is. He expressed how much he missed me and how bootcamp is not what he was expecting. He of course inquired after the baby, as though he had no idea what was going on. I find that suspicious because I have been writing him huge letters everyday. Supposedly mail isn't supposed to be withheld for any reason, not even for disciplinary reasons.

Also, he asked that I send him Vitamin C tablets and protein bars. He wasn't very descriptive so I had to call his recruiter and ask how many protein bars I needed to send (aka, enough for his entire platoon). Him asking for Vitamin C worries me because he didn't include any other information. Is he sick? Does he need anything else?

I read in a couple of forums that recruits might appreciate being sent moleskin to help ease the pain of blisters, which I guess can be pretty common. The husband specifically requested that I not send him anything besides the two items, so I am still on the bridge about the blister help.

Oh, just for clarification, if you choose to send your recruit cookies or something, you absolutly HAVE to send enough for his entire platoon. However, that is not the case with protein bars. You only have to send enough for your person of interest. However, if the DI's feel it is necessary, they can pool all of the protein bars sent by families and distribute them as needed. So that doesn't mean dont send the protein bars that he is asking for. If he is asking for something, chances are that he really needs it.

Always remember that the recruiters are not only resources for your recruit, but also for you. Not just spouses, but parents to. You might have to be persistant with them, but they are usually willing to be helpful. My husbands was very kind to me today, asking how I was holding up. I was pretty choked up on the phone still, but he was very graceful under fire. Very few men seem to be able to handle a crying woman.

And if you are reading this before your recruit has shipped for basic, take this information to heart. That first letter is going to take a while. It is agony to wait, I know, but just keep writing to him. Even if he isnt getting them all quite yet, its also therapeutic for you, especially if your a spouse. It is very hard to go from having a constant companion to being alone for this long. So just write. Write about what you do everyday or about the funny article you read. Just write. If my husband really has been having his mail withheld, then he is going to have the largest stack of mail that the DI's have ever seen. Remember that it is up to you to be postive and to make sure he doesn't feel like his whole world is pain, exhaustion, and stress. He has to have a reason to continue.

(Please note that I say "he" because my recruit is my husband. Its just a mindset thing.)

74 days

Danny has been gone for 2 weeks now and I dont think I gone through anything this bad before. Everything is a reminder that he isnt here. I try to keep calm and serene but it hurts to see happy couples everywhere and to know that mine is 1500 miles and 74 days away.

Its not only real world people. Television, movies, music; everything is about a happy couple. Its heart wrenching.

My family trys to be comforting, but they just dont understand. None of my family has ever had to be seperated for this long from their spouse and their words just dont comfort the way I wish they would. They say that I should get out and find things to do. Unfortunatly I am now rather limited in where I can go. Before he left, Danny requested that I not drive anymore partially due to our crappy 1994 Honda and partially because he doesnt trust my driving. A fact that I find hilarious because he is the terrible driver! So I am pretty limited to the house unless one of my family members is free to ferry me about.

I have been writing Danny everyday. It almost feels like talking to a ghost because I still haven't recieved a letter from him. I dont even know if he is recieving my letters. My mother-in-law says just keep waiting; that it might take a while. I just wish that my husband would take 15 minutes at the end of the night to scratch me a note telling me how he is doing and that he is okay.

I have decided that I really do need to find a hobby. Before, I didnt really have time for one. Not because I was so busy but because I loved spending my free time with my husband. I didn't really feel like I needed something else to occupy myself. The problem with finding a hobby is that I have no idea what I want to do. I enjoy writing, reading, traveling but none of those are capable of keeping my attention.

So anyone who has an idea, please let me know. I desperatly need something to keep my mind off of the soul crushing loneliness...

Finally!

I finally got Danny's address today. I waited until about 9:30 before I called his recruiter and said "GIVE ME THE ADDRESS!!!" Okay, I wasnt that aggressive, but I very nicely said that I was told to call today for the official address where I could start sending letters.

So the recruiter posted the address on my facebook wall, which was very convenient. That way I could "tag" his mother, sister, father, etc instead of having to call each of them and try to describe the very long and complicated address.

So immedietly wrote it on the envelope that I already had a stamp on in preparation and rushed to the nearest letterbox. I cant wait for him to get the letters (3) as well as the ultrasound picture of the baby sucking his thumb. Its a pretty thick envelope.

So I guess the lesson learned is that I have to stop worrying so much. I am 90% sure that the Marine Corp aren't going to let Danny die or get hurt, so I need to sit down and shut up. I won't be able to bully them into giving me contact with him so I should just learn to be patient as they work stuff out on their end.

I have to remind myself that nobody is out to get us. No one is intentionally trying to keep me in the dark or make me sick with worry. The Marine Corp is a huge organization(?) and they probably have bigger fish to fry then me being upset about a phone call or wanting the husbands address as soon as he gets there.

So I guess the REAL lesson is that I need to stop thinking that I have any control for the next four years, minimum. I will live where they tell me to live, wait when I have to wait, and celebrate when they give me something to celebrate.

Furious

I am in a spot between absolute fury and worry.

Danny left yesterday afternoon for San Diego and arrived late last night, if all went according to plan. He was supposed to arrive, stand on the yellow footprints and be marched to a bank of phones in order to call me and let me know he was there safe.

But I did not recieve a phone call last night. Neither did his mom or even my parents. No one has heard from him. I just called the recruiters office to see if this was normal. Even they sounded confused. And Danny knew I wanted a phone call. Planes freak me out.

So, there are two options at this point.

1. Danny is NOT okay. Something is wrong!
2. Danny is an asshole who didn't stop to think about his choice to NOT call me.

If he had a chance to call me, but chose not to, I hope the recruiter calls his D.I. in San Deigo. I hope he gets REAMED! How dare he leave me wondering all night long (yes, I stayed up).

Either way, something is up and I am not pleased.

On a side note, the recruiter also said that I probably wont get his mailing address until the end of the week. I can't even write a letter to yell at him.