Pneumonia

So I got a call from The San Diego Naval Hospital today. A lady with a heavy spanish accent informed me that my husband has been admitted and that I need to call them back. Or rather, she tried. I was making the yardsale routes with my family and missed the call. I didnt get the voicemail until an hour later.

I panicked. I thought he must be dying. Why else would he be in a hospital? So I tried to call the missed phone number, only to have it make the strangest clicking/beeping sound no matter how many times I hung up and redialed. I then began an incredibly panicked search on the internet for a working number to the hospital. I eventually found one and got connected to a person. Only to be transfered to another location, then put on hold while my husbands nurse was found. Now keep in mind that I STILL had no idea what was going on. The nurse was SO helpful (can you sense my sarcasm?). She gave me the phone number to my husbands room. I then proceeded to call the private number.

Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...

Nothing. You can guess what I did next . I called the nurse back and demanded they go to his room to find out why he wasn't answering. The phone wasn't freaking PLUGGED IN! The most basic part of a working telephone, and it wasn't connected.

Finally, I got in touch with my husband. Who has pneumonia. Pretty badly.

But God was it good to hear his voice. I could barely stop crying to ask him about his condition. He says he is okay, but his cough says otherwise. He could barely talk, but he talked to me for a few minutes, doing his best to comfort me, even though he is the sick one. He was very interested in how the baby is doing.

Eventually he had to get off the phone because the doctor came in to do some tests. I called him back about an hour later, but he was only able to talk for about 10 minutes before he told me he needed to go. No explanation, but I assume he was exhausted and needed to sleep.

I am such a mess right now. How am I going to survive being cut off from him again once he is out of the hospital?  It is taking every once of my willpower to not drive to the airport right now and jump on a plane. For the last three years, I have been taking care of him and it is agony to be 1500 miles away and not able to hold him while he coughs. To ease his pain.

Plus, if he is sick for long enough, he could be "recycled" meaning that he would have to start bootcamp all over again. I am praying thats not the case.

What I have learned in the last week about pregnancy.

As I have previously mentioned, I found out recently that I am almost 6 months pregnant. Surprise!

So I have spent the last week and a half googling myself sleepless about pregnancy and parenthood and have come to conlcusion that I am very out of my depth here. Parenting isn't just a job; its going to be my life for the next 60 years. I will never stop being a mother and my little boy will never stop being the center of my universe.

Also I have discovered that the moment I found out about him, I became instantly and irrevocably attached to him. I love him more than anything. Its amazing how I would do anything at this point for him. If the doctor told me that it was him or me, I would choose him. Same goes for husband. He has gone into protective Dad mode. Now he nags me ten times a day to get on the elliptical or eat some fruit. He is even getting excited about being a Dad. He said that he kind of wishes it was a girl though; he wanted to be the dad sitting on the porch with a shotgun.

I am terrified of raising a boy. They are destructive and noisy and their baby clothes are hideous. I have no idea what to do with one. I grew up around a ton of girls who liked barbies and dress up. Boys, I hear, like to create lego civilizations and then godzilla their way through them. I have no idea how to deal with a child whose single pleasure will be destruction.

So, anyone have any ideas on how to raise boys?