Post Pneumonia

I find myself lost all over again after having spent the last few days worrying every second of the day about my husband. Between calling him in the hospital and researching pneumonia, I haven't had time to be lonely. I have been so focused on him that I have completely forgotten how to be alone.

Let me explain...

In the last three weeks, I have mostly gotten used to practically being single. Sure, I spend time writing to the husband, but everything else in my life became solo. After he left, I eventually stopped crying and got on with life.

So when I got to opportunity to talk to my husband on the phone, all that coping was forgotten. I got used to talking to him again. Telling him about my day and asking about his. I felt married again even if he wasn't in the room with me.

Don't get me wrong; those phone calls are now some of my most precious memories. I wouldn't trade them for anything. It was amazing being able to hear his voice again.

Be warned though: by having the blessing of those phone calls, I was sent sprawling back to square one. I am depressed and lonely. It was like he had just left, all over again.

The good news is that, while he IS being dropped to MRP, it is only for a week. So unless he spontaenously gets sick again, his graduation should only be delayed by a couple weeks, max. This might be a blessing for us. It may be unpleasent for him now, but this could mean that he might be with me for the birth of our child.

God really must be watching out for us. There is no other explanation for how everything has been working out for the last two months. How I magically quit smoking when I was unknowingly two months pregnant or how Danny was able to slide into an earlier slot for bootcamp.

Thank you God for watching over my son, my husband, and even me. None of us deserve it, thats for sure.

Pneumonia

So I got a call from The San Diego Naval Hospital today. A lady with a heavy spanish accent informed me that my husband has been admitted and that I need to call them back. Or rather, she tried. I was making the yardsale routes with my family and missed the call. I didnt get the voicemail until an hour later.

I panicked. I thought he must be dying. Why else would he be in a hospital? So I tried to call the missed phone number, only to have it make the strangest clicking/beeping sound no matter how many times I hung up and redialed. I then began an incredibly panicked search on the internet for a working number to the hospital. I eventually found one and got connected to a person. Only to be transfered to another location, then put on hold while my husbands nurse was found. Now keep in mind that I STILL had no idea what was going on. The nurse was SO helpful (can you sense my sarcasm?). She gave me the phone number to my husbands room. I then proceeded to call the private number.

Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...
Ring...Ring...

Nothing. You can guess what I did next . I called the nurse back and demanded they go to his room to find out why he wasn't answering. The phone wasn't freaking PLUGGED IN! The most basic part of a working telephone, and it wasn't connected.

Finally, I got in touch with my husband. Who has pneumonia. Pretty badly.

But God was it good to hear his voice. I could barely stop crying to ask him about his condition. He says he is okay, but his cough says otherwise. He could barely talk, but he talked to me for a few minutes, doing his best to comfort me, even though he is the sick one. He was very interested in how the baby is doing.

Eventually he had to get off the phone because the doctor came in to do some tests. I called him back about an hour later, but he was only able to talk for about 10 minutes before he told me he needed to go. No explanation, but I assume he was exhausted and needed to sleep.

I am such a mess right now. How am I going to survive being cut off from him again once he is out of the hospital?  It is taking every once of my willpower to not drive to the airport right now and jump on a plane. For the last three years, I have been taking care of him and it is agony to be 1500 miles away and not able to hold him while he coughs. To ease his pain.

Plus, if he is sick for long enough, he could be "recycled" meaning that he would have to start bootcamp all over again. I am praying thats not the case.