Yesterday was my husbands first day back in a training company after three weeks in MRP. It was so nice to hear his voice on the phone two days ago; he finally sounded healthy.
I didn't realize until today, but I was a nervous wreck yesterday. I was twitchy all day. Looking back, I am pretty sure It was because I was worried that his first day wasn't going to go well. Like any wife, I was worried about my husband. But unlike a normal wife, my husband didn't come home at the end of the night, ready to tell me all about it. I have to wait a week or more before he can find time to write me a letter to tell me how he is feeling.
Not knowing is the worst.
Showing posts with label letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letters. Show all posts
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Don't Know What to Say
Im not ashamed to admit that I lead a boring life. Mostly thats because I am unemployed.
I am very good friends with TLC and ABC Family, which is downright pathetic. I enjoy watching Secret Life of the American Teenager and I Did't Know I was Pregnant. Well, I dont really enjoy watching them, but I cant seem to look away. Like when your driving on the freeway and there is an accident and you actually slow down so you can watch whats going on. You WANT to look away, but you just can not.
Anyways, I find myself with nothing to write about in my letters to Danny. I tell him about the baby and what interesting articles I read about, but I am running out of material! Its not that I dont have anything to say ("I love you!"), its that I just dont have anything interesting to say. I could write pages and pages of sweet sentiments but eventually he is going to get sick of reading that.
I mean, I am sure he would appreciate every letter, but it wouldn't be the motivation that he needs. It wouldn't provide distraction from the pains of boot camp, which he probably needs a lot of at this.
So what do I write now? I dont have doctor appointments for another week for so and the news has been pretty boring.
Any ideas would be appreciated! In the meantime, I will simply keep telling him about my day. Maybe I will start writing down memories from our life together and just keep reminding him why he is doing this.
On a side note, when do I start to get celebrating mothers day? I know I am not one yet, but I am pretty sure that I am feeling the exhaustion levels....
I am very good friends with TLC and ABC Family, which is downright pathetic. I enjoy watching Secret Life of the American Teenager and I Did't Know I was Pregnant. Well, I dont really enjoy watching them, but I cant seem to look away. Like when your driving on the freeway and there is an accident and you actually slow down so you can watch whats going on. You WANT to look away, but you just can not.
Anyways, I find myself with nothing to write about in my letters to Danny. I tell him about the baby and what interesting articles I read about, but I am running out of material! Its not that I dont have anything to say ("I love you!"), its that I just dont have anything interesting to say. I could write pages and pages of sweet sentiments but eventually he is going to get sick of reading that.
I mean, I am sure he would appreciate every letter, but it wouldn't be the motivation that he needs. It wouldn't provide distraction from the pains of boot camp, which he probably needs a lot of at this.
So what do I write now? I dont have doctor appointments for another week for so and the news has been pretty boring.
Any ideas would be appreciated! In the meantime, I will simply keep telling him about my day. Maybe I will start writing down memories from our life together and just keep reminding him why he is doing this.
On a side note, when do I start to get celebrating mothers day? I know I am not one yet, but I am pretty sure that I am feeling the exhaustion levels....
Friday, April 27, 2012
There really is a God!
Today, as I was writing Danny, a letter finally came. Almost three weeks after I dropped him off at his recruiters, I finally hear from him. It was like someone upstairs finally heard my prayers.
Honestly, I think this might be the best feeling I have ever had. Its such a beautiful feeling to hear from your loved one after so long. Believe me when I say that this is euphoria.
For the last two weeks, I have been watching the mail like a hawk. Every single day, I waited at home until the mail came, desperate for any communication from my dear dear husband. So of course, when I actually saw the half size envelope with the globe and anchor on it, I immedietly burst into tears and ripped into the envelope like a wild animal. I dont think I have ever moved so fast.
Unfortunatly, the letter wasn't very long, which was not very suprising considering how strapped for time he probably is. He expressed how much he missed me and how bootcamp is not what he was expecting. He of course inquired after the baby, as though he had no idea what was going on. I find that suspicious because I have been writing him huge letters everyday. Supposedly mail isn't supposed to be withheld for any reason, not even for disciplinary reasons.
Also, he asked that I send him Vitamin C tablets and protein bars. He wasn't very descriptive so I had to call his recruiter and ask how many protein bars I needed to send (aka, enough for his entire platoon). Him asking for Vitamin C worries me because he didn't include any other information. Is he sick? Does he need anything else?
I read in a couple of forums that recruits might appreciate being sent moleskin to help ease the pain of blisters, which I guess can be pretty common. The husband specifically requested that I not send him anything besides the two items, so I am still on the bridge about the blister help.
Oh, just for clarification, if you choose to send your recruit cookies or something, you absolutly HAVE to send enough for his entire platoon. However, that is not the case with protein bars. You only have to send enough for your person of interest. However, if the DI's feel it is necessary, they can pool all of the protein bars sent by families and distribute them as needed. So that doesn't mean dont send the protein bars that he is asking for. If he is asking for something, chances are that he really needs it.
Always remember that the recruiters are not only resources for your recruit, but also for you. Not just spouses, but parents to. You might have to be persistant with them, but they are usually willing to be helpful. My husbands was very kind to me today, asking how I was holding up. I was pretty choked up on the phone still, but he was very graceful under fire. Very few men seem to be able to handle a crying woman.
And if you are reading this before your recruit has shipped for basic, take this information to heart. That first letter is going to take a while. It is agony to wait, I know, but just keep writing to him. Even if he isnt getting them all quite yet, its also therapeutic for you, especially if your a spouse. It is very hard to go from having a constant companion to being alone for this long. So just write. Write about what you do everyday or about the funny article you read. Just write. If my husband really has been having his mail withheld, then he is going to have the largest stack of mail that the DI's have ever seen. Remember that it is up to you to be postive and to make sure he doesn't feel like his whole world is pain, exhaustion, and stress. He has to have a reason to continue.
(Please note that I say "he" because my recruit is my husband. Its just a mindset thing.)
Honestly, I think this might be the best feeling I have ever had. Its such a beautiful feeling to hear from your loved one after so long. Believe me when I say that this is euphoria.
For the last two weeks, I have been watching the mail like a hawk. Every single day, I waited at home until the mail came, desperate for any communication from my dear dear husband. So of course, when I actually saw the half size envelope with the globe and anchor on it, I immedietly burst into tears and ripped into the envelope like a wild animal. I dont think I have ever moved so fast.
Unfortunatly, the letter wasn't very long, which was not very suprising considering how strapped for time he probably is. He expressed how much he missed me and how bootcamp is not what he was expecting. He of course inquired after the baby, as though he had no idea what was going on. I find that suspicious because I have been writing him huge letters everyday. Supposedly mail isn't supposed to be withheld for any reason, not even for disciplinary reasons.
Also, he asked that I send him Vitamin C tablets and protein bars. He wasn't very descriptive so I had to call his recruiter and ask how many protein bars I needed to send (aka, enough for his entire platoon). Him asking for Vitamin C worries me because he didn't include any other information. Is he sick? Does he need anything else?
I read in a couple of forums that recruits might appreciate being sent moleskin to help ease the pain of blisters, which I guess can be pretty common. The husband specifically requested that I not send him anything besides the two items, so I am still on the bridge about the blister help.
Oh, just for clarification, if you choose to send your recruit cookies or something, you absolutly HAVE to send enough for his entire platoon. However, that is not the case with protein bars. You only have to send enough for your person of interest. However, if the DI's feel it is necessary, they can pool all of the protein bars sent by families and distribute them as needed. So that doesn't mean dont send the protein bars that he is asking for. If he is asking for something, chances are that he really needs it.
Always remember that the recruiters are not only resources for your recruit, but also for you. Not just spouses, but parents to. You might have to be persistant with them, but they are usually willing to be helpful. My husbands was very kind to me today, asking how I was holding up. I was pretty choked up on the phone still, but he was very graceful under fire. Very few men seem to be able to handle a crying woman.
And if you are reading this before your recruit has shipped for basic, take this information to heart. That first letter is going to take a while. It is agony to wait, I know, but just keep writing to him. Even if he isnt getting them all quite yet, its also therapeutic for you, especially if your a spouse. It is very hard to go from having a constant companion to being alone for this long. So just write. Write about what you do everyday or about the funny article you read. Just write. If my husband really has been having his mail withheld, then he is going to have the largest stack of mail that the DI's have ever seen. Remember that it is up to you to be postive and to make sure he doesn't feel like his whole world is pain, exhaustion, and stress. He has to have a reason to continue.
(Please note that I say "he" because my recruit is my husband. Its just a mindset thing.)
Monday, April 23, 2012
74 days
Danny has been gone for 2 weeks now and I dont think I gone through anything this bad before. Everything is a reminder that he isnt here. I try to keep calm and serene but it hurts to see happy couples everywhere and to know that mine is 1500 miles and 74 days away.
Its not only real world people. Television, movies, music; everything is about a happy couple. Its heart wrenching.
My family trys to be comforting, but they just dont understand. None of my family has ever had to be seperated for this long from their spouse and their words just dont comfort the way I wish they would. They say that I should get out and find things to do. Unfortunatly I am now rather limited in where I can go. Before he left, Danny requested that I not drive anymore partially due to our crappy 1994 Honda and partially because he doesnt trust my driving. A fact that I find hilarious because he is the terrible driver! So I am pretty limited to the house unless one of my family members is free to ferry me about.
I have been writing Danny everyday. It almost feels like talking to a ghost because I still haven't recieved a letter from him. I dont even know if he is recieving my letters. My mother-in-law says just keep waiting; that it might take a while. I just wish that my husband would take 15 minutes at the end of the night to scratch me a note telling me how he is doing and that he is okay.
I have decided that I really do need to find a hobby. Before, I didnt really have time for one. Not because I was so busy but because I loved spending my free time with my husband. I didn't really feel like I needed something else to occupy myself. The problem with finding a hobby is that I have no idea what I want to do. I enjoy writing, reading, traveling but none of those are capable of keeping my attention.
So anyone who has an idea, please let me know. I desperatly need something to keep my mind off of the soul crushing loneliness...
Its not only real world people. Television, movies, music; everything is about a happy couple. Its heart wrenching.
My family trys to be comforting, but they just dont understand. None of my family has ever had to be seperated for this long from their spouse and their words just dont comfort the way I wish they would. They say that I should get out and find things to do. Unfortunatly I am now rather limited in where I can go. Before he left, Danny requested that I not drive anymore partially due to our crappy 1994 Honda and partially because he doesnt trust my driving. A fact that I find hilarious because he is the terrible driver! So I am pretty limited to the house unless one of my family members is free to ferry me about.
I have been writing Danny everyday. It almost feels like talking to a ghost because I still haven't recieved a letter from him. I dont even know if he is recieving my letters. My mother-in-law says just keep waiting; that it might take a while. I just wish that my husband would take 15 minutes at the end of the night to scratch me a note telling me how he is doing and that he is okay.
I have decided that I really do need to find a hobby. Before, I didnt really have time for one. Not because I was so busy but because I loved spending my free time with my husband. I didn't really feel like I needed something else to occupy myself. The problem with finding a hobby is that I have no idea what I want to do. I enjoy writing, reading, traveling but none of those are capable of keeping my attention.
So anyone who has an idea, please let me know. I desperatly need something to keep my mind off of the soul crushing loneliness...
Monday, April 9, 2012
The Big Day
Well he left today for MEPS. Then he gets sent to the airport tomorrow and shipped to San Diego for 13 weeks.
I can't seem to stop crying. I feel like a baby and I hate it. I know he has only been gone for about seven hours but it seems like every little thing reminds me of him and makes tears spring into my eyes.
After I dropped him off at the recruiters today, I sat in the car for a few minutes just trying to breathe. In our entire three years together we have never been separated for longer than a couple of weeks and we have always had phone contact. Now I am resigned to letters and the knowledge that I have to wait 13 weeks to see him again.
I wasn't ready for him to go. I wasn't prepared emotionally. My family is worried about me and says the first 48 hours are going to be the hardest. Also that half my reaction is because of my pregnancy horomones. I think I am just miserable and want to stay in bed for three months until he is laying with me again.
And now I am crying again. I am half hoping that MEPS is going to say that he is ineligeble and he will call me tomorrow saying that he needs me to come get him. I feel bad for wishing that, but the thought of three months is suddenly to much. I am regretting supporting him joining and I just want him home. It is selfish I know.
I am going to sign off now. Try to get a little slee
I can't seem to stop crying. I feel like a baby and I hate it. I know he has only been gone for about seven hours but it seems like every little thing reminds me of him and makes tears spring into my eyes.
After I dropped him off at the recruiters today, I sat in the car for a few minutes just trying to breathe. In our entire three years together we have never been separated for longer than a couple of weeks and we have always had phone contact. Now I am resigned to letters and the knowledge that I have to wait 13 weeks to see him again.
I wasn't ready for him to go. I wasn't prepared emotionally. My family is worried about me and says the first 48 hours are going to be the hardest. Also that half my reaction is because of my pregnancy horomones. I think I am just miserable and want to stay in bed for three months until he is laying with me again.
And now I am crying again. I am half hoping that MEPS is going to say that he is ineligeble and he will call me tomorrow saying that he needs me to come get him. I feel bad for wishing that, but the thought of three months is suddenly to much. I am regretting supporting him joining and I just want him home. It is selfish I know.
I am going to sign off now. Try to get a little slee
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