Songs That Speak

There are songs out there that truly speak to people. So much music these days are nonsense with no real meaning behind them. Every once in a while though, there will be a song released that really connects with people. The music and lyrics make a person stop and think about how it relates to them.

In my humble opinion, this song describes my feelings perfectly. Its about three years old, but is still one of my husbands and my favorites, simply because we are best friends and are 100% in love. Its a beautiful life to live. =)

Take a listen if you don't already know the song. Its rather comforting if you are separated from your best friend for whatever reason.

***NOTE***
No letters since husband went back into a training company. He IS graduating on July 27th though, so its only a little more than two months until he is home.

Don't Know What to Say

Im not ashamed to admit that I lead a boring life. Mostly thats because I am unemployed.

I am very good friends with TLC and ABC Family, which is downright pathetic. I enjoy watching Secret Life of the American Teenager and I Did't Know I was Pregnant. Well, I dont really enjoy watching them, but I cant seem to look away. Like when your driving on the freeway and there is an accident and you actually slow down so you can watch whats going on. You WANT to look away, but you just can not.

Anyways, I find myself with nothing to write about in my letters to Danny. I tell him about the baby and what interesting articles I read about, but I am running out of material! Its not that I dont have anything to say ("I love you!"), its that I just dont have anything interesting to say. I could write pages and pages of sweet sentiments but eventually he is going to get sick of reading that.

I mean, I am sure he would appreciate every letter, but it wouldn't be the motivation that he needs. It wouldn't provide distraction from the pains of boot camp, which he probably needs a lot of at this.

So what do I write now? I dont have doctor appointments for another week for so and the news has been pretty boring.

Any ideas would be appreciated! In the meantime, I will simply keep telling him about my day. Maybe I will start writing down memories from our life together and just keep reminding him why he is doing this.

On a side note, when do I start to get celebrating mothers day? I know I am not one yet, but I am pretty sure that I am feeling the exhaustion levels....

What I Have Learned in the Last Three Weeks

1.      I am not in control. No matter how much I want to be, or think I should be, The Marine Corp is now a part of my life and marriage. Anything having to do with my husband has to do with them, so I had better just get used to it. He is theirs just as much, if not more, than he is mine.

2.      The Marine Corp has a lot of terminology that is way above my head. They have a name for items that don’t really need a new name, and it is frustrating to hear some strange designation instead of a proper name. My husband called the bathroom “the head” which threw me for a loop. Why has the military decided to rename everything?

3.      I am stronger than I thought, but weaker at the same time. I now know I am capable of taking care of myself if my husband is ever gone for good. But I have also realized that while I may be strong enough to physically care for myself, I am not very emotionally independent. I depend on my husband to listen to me, to comfort me, even to remind me when I am over reacting. My emotions have been all over the place for the last three weeks, and it isn’t getting any better.

4.      Nothing anyone says is very comforting. No matter how many times my mother or father reassure me, I still feel alone, scared, and worried. It’s nice to have family around, and their presence is at least distracting, but the hugs don’t even take the edge off the loneliness. They don’t need to know that though.

5.      Anything to distract myself is worth it. Moping all day isn’t good for me and it definitely isn’t helping my recruit. I know he can feel my sadness in my letters. He is my husband! He knows me better than I know myself so I am pretty sure he can pick up little hints of sadness, regardless of how hard I try to hide it. So for his sake, I have to stay upbeat. This means making sure I am not dwelling on the separation in order to make boot camp easier on him.

6.       I am so lucky to be my recruit’s wife. He is going through exhaustion and pain right now to provide a future for his family. He loves me and our anxiously awaited son so much that he is doing something that most people can’t even fathom. I certainly can’t!